Self-taught, Brian (
@brianfry.photography.2) began photographing people over 20 years ago. He enjoys portraiture and figure work, embracing a reactive shooting style. With reactive shooting, the photographer goes into a session with only a loose concept of what they want to create. The direction a session takes develops largely from the energy and interactions between the subject and photographer. In other words, how they "vibe" together. Their time often involves discussions about a variety of topics, getting to know the subject and what makes them tick.
It didn't take long for Brian to notice a recurring, dark storyline in conversations with models. It was a subject that had also come up in other relationships with friends and romantic partners. Namely, the frequency with which women experienced sexual assault and violence. Very often, they had multiple experiences beginning at a young age. Unfortunately, this was something Brian could relate to.
Brian experienced his own sexual assault at the age of 15. For more than a year, a teacher and his husband – two men both more than 30 years older – targeted, isolated, and groomed Brian, culminating in the assault. Now in his 50s, Brian had only ever disclosed his sexual assault to a very few people in his life – his then wife and a psychiatrist. Brian spent his entire adult life feeling ashamed, embarrassed, and blaming himself for "letting it happen."
Now, empathetically listening to friends, girlfriends, and models recount their own horrific experiences in detail, Brian identified with the pain, depression, and guilt they described. It was remarkable, he thought, how many people had similar experiences. But, certainly not everyone was so forthcoming about their past. Many of these people he had just met. Clearly, the true number of victims had to be even greater. In fact, the national statistics are mind-numbing.
Over 400,000 sexual assaults every year... just in the United States. Yet, it was a problem that no one was talking about.
Like many survivors, Brian had been afraid to disclose these childhood experiences. Would people blame him? Would he be believed? At one point when he disclosed to his psychiatrist, the response was, "well, you must have wanted it." This was exactly the response he feared most and the reason he hadn't shared his story sooner. If that was the response of his
psychiatrist, what would other people say? It had been more than 30 years, struggling to suppress the memories. Why would he expose this very personal vulnerability now?
Brian carried a lot of guilt for all those years. He knew he couldn't be the only victim. The teacher had a career of more than 30-years as educator, mentor, and coach to thousands of high school students. How many other victims had suffered just because Brian was afraid to tell anyone? The silence of shame is exactly what sexual predators rely on to continue preying on new victims.